Tool 7: How to resolve conflict

Here is a summary of the Thomas Kilmann’s conflict handling model [7].

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Handling Model, developed by Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann, is a framework that provides insights into how individuals approach and handle conflicts. The model outlines five primary conflict-handling styles, each reflecting a different combination of assertiveness (the extent to which one pursues their own interests) and cooperativeness (the extent to which one considers the interests of others). Here’s an explanation of each style:

Competing (Assertive, Uncooperative): This style involves pursuing one’s own interests at the expense of others. It focuses on winning the conflict and may involve asserting power or authority. This can lead to a potential WIN-LOSE outcome. 

Collaborating (Assertive, Cooperative): The collaborating style emphasises finding mutually satisfactory solutions. It involves open communication, active listening, and a willingness to explore different perspectives to reach a consensus. It is intensive and takes a lot of time. It also requires significant sacrifice. This can lead to a potential WIN-WIN outcome. 

Compromising (Intermediate on Assertiveness and Cooperativeness): Compromising aims to find middle ground by giving and taking concessions. It involves finding a mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties’ needs. This can lead to a potential HALF-WIN-WIN outcome. 

Avoiding (Unassertive, Uncooperative): The avoiding style involves sidestepping or postponing conflicts. It may be used when the issue is trivial, when emotions are high, or when other priorities take precedence over addressing the conflict. This can lead to a potential LOSE-LOSE outcome. 

Accommodating (Unassertive, Cooperative): This style entails sacrificing one’s own interests to satisfy the needs of others. It involves being selfless, maintaining harmony, and preserving relationships. This can lead to a potential LOSE-WIN outcome. 

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Handling Model provides a framework for understanding different approaches to conflict resolution. It emphasises that individuals may have preferred styles, but the most effective approach depends on the situation and the desired outcomes. By recognising and understanding these styles, individuals can better navigate conflicts, choose appropriate strategies, and promote constructive resolution. The model encourages individuals to develop their conflict-handling skills and be adaptable in selecting the most appropriate style based on the specific circumstances.

Remember this – “Conflict is not bad, but conflict can be potentially good, if handled the right way.”

7. Thomas, K. W., & Kilmann, R. H. (1974). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Tuxedo, NY: Xicom, Inc.